i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
hell yes lets make some ravioli
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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