Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
