i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
