Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What drink are we having for lunch?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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