I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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