the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
