i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize