My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
