did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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