I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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