trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
my liver is dry heaving
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
