Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
