have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This is my gift to your gina
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
