i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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