I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
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You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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