I feel great
I just peed on a car
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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