She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
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Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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