I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
