I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
