I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
