So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
