Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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