She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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