So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
