Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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