Don't make out with my wife yet
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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