so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
