Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize