That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
