i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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