Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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