no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
