another moral hangover. fuck.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
