K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
