The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
