she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
