I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
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don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST