chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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