so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
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I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
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Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.