Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
this hospital has no fireball
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts