please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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