I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
