I just pynch a tree in the face
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize