im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
