i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
third nipple confirmed
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
