Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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