You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
