I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
