i permit you to call me
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I smell stomach acid.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
