my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
