I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
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I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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