did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize