i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize