Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize