hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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