After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
