maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
