mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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