I bet he comes in French.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
