love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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