I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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