Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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