she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
